“This is a really great way to say this. Just think of any interest you have, you attained that interest over time. You and your partner will each take on some of the other’s interests over time, and some will stay your own, and you’ll find others at the intersection of your interest neither of you might have tried alone."—EdgarAllenPorn “Relationship where GF and I liked all the same shit, didn’t have same values: fought constantly. Relationship where GF and I liked none of the same shit, had 90% similar values: Best conversations ever, showed each other cool stuff, and found new amazing things neither of us would’ve thought of alone.” —redmarketsolutions “On the contrary, it is more or less guaranteed to make any problems you currently have worse."—inactiveuser247
“This was what I wanted to say. The problems that existed before getting married will be there after the reception. Marriage doesn’t (and shouldn’t) change anything about your relationship. I had a friend whose life goal at 14 was ‘grow up get married and have babies.’ That never changed. So she grew up, got engaged to the first guy that she could browbeat into proposing to her, and was married less than two years after meeting him. I visited a few days after the wedding and jokingly asked her, ‘How’s married life?’ And I’ll never forget the confusion in her voice when she answered: ‘It’s just like living together. I thought something would be different.’” —Yanigan
“I’ve always thought marriage adds extra pressure in the legal confirmation of you being together and the vows you make to one another.Children just add an extra layer of pressure where you have less time to devote to one another, so any small cracks that were in the relationship before will get blown into massive fissures which need to be fixed. However, if the relationship needed saving before the kids it is not going to last when they come along.” —cornish-yorkshirepud “One of my best life decisions was not having a baby with my first husband. He was sure it would ‘fix’ the relationship. I thought that would be a terrible exploitation of a helpless human being; it was up to the adults to fix our own problems first.” —doublestitch “Also, not everything requires compromise. Sometimes the answer is, you both do your own thing separately. Think about what the impact a decision has on you and your partner before going immediately into negotiations."—bumblingbirdy —whatyouwant22 “As an unmarried person, 100% agree. I’ve had a lot of people say stuff like, ‘If you don’t fight and argue, it’s not a real relationship because you won’t always agree.’ Like babe, let’s address why you think that disagreeing with your partner must always result in an argument. I get that sometimes people are frustrated and lose their cool, but from my point of view, you have to recognize when that’s happening because your partner doesn’t deserve to be berated or yelled at just because you can’t manage your emotions."—DeadByOtzStans “That not teaming up thing is often the root cause of divorce.” —mikasjoman “This, one million percent. I’ve been married almost 20 years and I can honestly say I don’t find marriage difficult at all. In fact, it improved my life in many ways (parenting is a whole different story, LOL). But that is because my husband and I work TOGETHER AS A TEAM 100% of the time. We do whatever we can to make the other’s life better/easier/happier, etc. It was that way when we were dating, it’s still that way 20 years later.In my experience, the relationships where this was not the case tended to be the ones that failed and/or are miserable. :-(” –SnappyCappie
“Adding on to this… Make sure to be accepting of heartfelt apologies as well.Grudges are never good in relationships. Learn to forgive your partner, especially when they’ve gone to the effort of apologizing and trying to be better."—P0ster_Nutbag “Adding more to that… When someone admits they’re wrong, do NOT rub it in their face! That’s exactly why no one will admit they’re wrong. Pride destroys everything."—Nutella416 “Dude, yes! I wouldn’t have married my husband if I didn’t enjoy spending time with him. Hate when my co-workers sit around shit-talking their spouses and I’m just there like, ‘Cool, y’all sound toxic.’ I actually like my husband and look forward to chilling with him every day."—cr0wj4ne
“Your single problems will be your married problems. Marriage and your spouse can’t fix you. Work on yourself as much as you can before you get married. For yourself and for your spouse.” —happyharborgirl
“My wife has a friend who just cannot understand this. She constantly badgers her about doing stuff my wife has not even had a chance to mention to me yet. We have two kids. We have to coordinate."—YourMumsBumAlum
—Dinonugget1801
“‘Happy wife, happy life’ is toxic to a marriage as well. You should be concerned with each other’s happiness equally. It’s a partnership.” —DrPeterVankman
“Flip-side of that same coin, divorce is incredibly expensive and you may find that it’s not worth uprooting your entire life, living situation, and savings because of even the most severe of disagreements. Reddit loves to dole out ‘just get a divorce’ as advice, but if you have been married for a while at a certain point the practical answer becomes ‘just deal with being unhappy.’ Be sure you want to marry that person because divorce isn’t easy.” —OhGodImOnRedditAgain
“This was a game changer for us! We’re both cold creatures but we both also like our space in bed. We’ll cuddle for a few minutes then separate to our respective sides of the bed to actually sleep. We each have our own duvet and it works out perfectly!” —FifiLaFifi
